Dealing with loss...

Yesterday was fucking hard. Today is fucking hard.

I’ve experienced this before many times unfortunately and every time I forget how painful it is.

I’ve never had two loved ones die in one day so that’s new and I’m shocked. I keep asking why, why this had to happen and why on the same day. I don’t get it. But maybe I’m not meant to understand it.

It’s scary and now I’m paranoid of losing everyone I love.

Both deaths were sudden and unexpected so that has me asking more questions.

I laid out my oracle cards last night and asked “why” then picked a card at random.

The card I drew was Freya: phases and cycles. The card reads “there is a beginning within every ending. Illusions are revealed and released”.

Wow. Just wow. More questions running through my mind.

As heartbreaking as this is I’m so glad that both Jossy and Enzo got to live, love and be loved.

Jossy was a little fighter. She had such a rough start to life so the fact that she got a few months with lots of love and cuddles from us & Deb, her carer, is amazing.

She brought us all so much joy and I’m so thankful for that.

I’ve had Enzo in my life for 2.5 years and he brought me so much joy too. I spoilt him and loved him every day of his life.

They are with Bluey now, my family cat who passed away in January and also with Jossy’s mum who we named Grace. I hope they’re having a great time together wherever they are.

I’ve never really been someone who openly shares my grief but there is something comforting about letting it all out.

Wearing my LOVE ALL ANIMALS shirt from Menima Brand.

{Photo taken the day before Jossy & Enzo passed away}